dangerous driving school

channel 5`s dangerous driving school
my car ins the AA emailed me their looking for bad drivers i think hey i used to teach advanced driving so i dont think im for the programme but i`d go in and teach the eejits on it
a boy goes over pavements as he goes round a corner poses in the mirror at his hair he cant park another woman is scared to go on the moterway ones sqealing as shes drives around what i remember from last weeks,
the nights is a crazy boy flying down the country roads i only do that in night driving as the visions better i`d see lights on the hedges i know the difference of their and mine there is a difference these eejits are flying in daylight no vision and the lass far to close shes moaning she cant see to get past move back then haufwit shes belting it and has her kid in the car she needs a smack,
the boys needing his insurance companys advice fire his policy up or get him banned no way is he safe hes a fucking dick, twats like him sit up ma erse and cant keep up once i hit the bends coz i can drive i do 60k miles a year at work,
an older woman having a lesson with her lassie she hasnt driven in 10 years shes doing 15mph and in the middle of 2 lanes a cyclists overtaking her pmsl shes driving in the wrong way to a carpark shes crashed into trolleys by luck,
back to nutjob lassie shes a future bodybag that eejit needs training in safety she is a danger and thinks she isnt, she overtakes with not enough vision im braking for her my boy pulls away like her from my door but i made him do his advanced driving so i know hes winding me up i taught my boy all my neices and nephews their pals my boys ex gf wasted a year learning wi some old biddy who was useless i had her on the road in an hour with full clutch control,
back to eejit boy eating drinking on the phone driving with knees
this programmes brilliant i luv to watch folk drive i admit im no perfect i drive right wi my passengers on board at work in my car i do my own way but safe i dont take risks coz my dad died in his lorry and iv seen the reality at the cops training place and the funny vids cops have a sense of humour as well,
i see these eejits most days on the road learner did`nt give way to me on a roundabout but that roundabouts a regular for folks no giving way,
but on a roundabout in my car im watching the ones i give way to are watching im way in front i luv roundabouts folks dont have a clue i hate the yappy women who pay no attention speed up and down then rev the guts oot their car when im overtaking when its safe to do so and im no waiting iv a bigger engine,
back to crazy lassie i wish i could do her speeds but im no killing a bairn
omg older woman doing highway code she hasnt a scooby shes hopeless on the road hitting the kerb doing aboot 20mph
twatboy again who has no control of the car,but hes in control he disnae ken who`s round the corner and worse than him, braindeed moron you just know hes no gonna stay safe hes in charge of a lethal weapon hope he thinks what if he kills his girlfriend or a kiddie.

yorkshire

iv been to flamingo twice with sis and all the nices nephews my boy the pals what a laugh i luv the shows rides that are only open during the day how crap the shows shut at night where as they would be better open at night and shut through the day for we liked to go to yorkshire and scarborough,the penny machines are boring their open at night the pub and musicals are good at night but the smell of booze puts me off so i end up away and let the young ones round i stay and watch their kids,
sis has went to flamingo 20 years now twice a year im like what shes nuts aye its good but not that good 6 hours driving then waiting on the keys and the smell of piss in the loo.
you cant beat a travel lodge,
the one at alton towers was good apart from being forced to drink out a plastic cup in the pub with my meal but i guess english footys got bother i was amazed plastic cups
the nemesis brilliant the rest brilliant the cold i had to buy a sweatshrt then a jacket i luvd when my boy caught up in the saucers he spun us fast as ought whit a laff then sis walking with her jacket over her head some lass looking at her then sis shouts arrrggghhhh the lass jumped we said we have her out for the day from her mental hospital i caught all my lot pissing themselves laughing on camera i have it on the wall, and the lass in the background laughing after her fright
blackpool well it never changes same old same old the ride round the parks my fav you think im going over nto the sea then it flips round the corner bonus i luv that ride,
my family are wonderful they help me through all the pain of this farce of trying to be free iv been seperated longer than i was married 9 long year seperated im so sick of the fraudulant ways of the legals all for 8 month on my mortgage,see its never far away my nightmare,
i need to go to asda i need cigs im sick of smoking iv none but forgot to buy 10 in the shop the doc goes on at me to stop i do but im never liong till im back on them they calm me down i hate it hate the price but its uk rip off britain if your poor your ripped off.

ireland

belfast is wonderful as soon as i see samson or george best im home i`ll be over soon enough iv not been this year i went over for 3 days and one overnight last year i want to be there all the time kilkenny is home i lived there in a previous life i reckon when i was there i knew so many streets i had never been to,
iv not been up to southern for years i reckon it was 9 years ago as soon as i was free i went a holiday as i hadnt had one for years due to being in the abusive marriage as soon as i was free i went away, i went to belfast after that and i was hooked,the first one was in lisdoonvarna it was a bit boring in the middle of nowhere so i went on all the trips plus i took maw shes is to quiet never speaks much hangs onto my arse like a pup i think get away fae me go do something get a fekn life im sick being the only one whos stuck running after her when she has 5 weans and lots of grandkids but her nasty ways has driven them all away when will she ever fekn learn she needs input to get something back,id be pissed if my boy was as quiet as that or i didnt speak to him i used to tell her to join clubs they are across from me shes down the road but no its a cleek shes from the borders so weird my gran was like my maw nothing like my maw,after that holiday she bugs me lets go a holiday i say no im to stressed out i cant afford it i know i paid her holiday so she must think she owes me but im not taking from her im stubborn i pay my own things i only help my son out no one else,
iv been all over southern ireland its much the same as scotland and northern i luv belfast ulster hollywoods a nice wee place up by dundonald stormonts amazing what a size

an aunt

i checked my email the other day someone added me to fb page im like ill check it later so done it last night
its my aunt iv not seen her since i was a teenager she lived near my other aunt im so distrustful now of fb due t what happened to my pal for a comment on her page she was harrassed by drug users going in her garden having sex leaving condoms and leaving her gates open she has a deaf grandaughter who wont know to stay off the main road and a pup and dog she was in some state and never away from her lawyer she wasnt herself so now half the pals have shut theirs down imiss them but feel we have no freedom any more whys the country going so wrong negativity causes negativity wheres all the happiness went in the country we are all in human form here as soon as i pop my clogs im off home to spirit then i will tell my pals told you so theres more to life than earth,the world is a huge place.

not paying attention

the roads a bit busy i cant get past the women in front is in her corsa yapping not paying attention speeds up speeds down shes doing 35 45 55 35 driving me daft i feel like flashing the lights i am here wake up pay attention,

the roundabouts in sight im off shes reving the guts out her car so i cant get past aye right hen you`v paid no atention youve held me up it wasnt safe to overtake so im off you haveno chance of stopping me getting past

country roads

time for home the joys my country roads in sight as i go in its flooded so got to drive slow through the burn in the middle of the road i know it so know what bits to hit,its amazing how i remember where the potholes are and the camber of the road,

the roads full of chips its been well flooded and yes here we come the eejit weans flying round the blind bends think its a 2 lane road they drive me nuts bad driving im jammed into the hedges then theres the odd lorry so into reverse i know im not getting by its quicker to reverse but then some eejit will come flying up they will reverse im not losing my car due to their impatience i drive the country roads slowly if iv no vision looking over and under i pull in as im big and look at them what are you doing in that on these wee roads well folks live on farms and need services so im always there

driving

i was heading into town from the village its time for a break in front was a red mazda in front of him a farmers jeep in front of that the jcb and trailer that does 50mph yes the mazda seen a tractor and off it goes theres a bend double white lines and im like omg hes gonna hit the tam french lorry it goes right into the edge holy moley that was so close these haufwits need better observations,i was braking for the mazda i`d book him for due care.

my nephew aquaplaned over the m77 hit a car then into the tree`s poor boy thats my sisters car away he`ll need to get a new one himself,the main thing is hes alright its only a piece of metal thats replaceable he`s not,i miss my dad yet he never survived his lorry crash when i was young.